this is the semi-grown up blog of liz markus, showcasing her ability to put letters and symbols together in a pleasant and correct manner.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

+100 things that make me happy+ #8: coconut, in all its forms

every year for his birthday, my father asks for german chocolate cake. german chocolate cake is, of course, a cocoa-based caked with a coconut frosting. because nothing says "LIEBEN SIE" like a nice tropical coconut.

and every year, i wouldn't eat it.

why? because when i was a kid, i hated having to chew coconut. it was tough and fibrous and i was as easily bored as i was amused. i didn't have time to sit and chew my way through an entire piece of that stuff; there were bugs outside that i had not yet built homes for.

of course, as everyone knows, one distinguishing characteristic of most children is that they're totally retarded, and i was no different, seeing as how i passed up innumerable opportunities to consume coconut. i love coconut. i love how it smells, alone and mixed with other things. i love how it tastes, alone and mixed with other things. i love how it feels, alo- wait, no, it's actually kind of rough. scratch that. the other stuff though, yeah. totally.

i was crushed to discover that bath and body works had discontinued their coconut cream lotion, and further dismayed to not find any suitable substitute. i was overjoyed to find that alba's coconut creme lip gloss was a dollar less at whole foods than walgreens. it was interesting and informative to learn that fresh coconut milk was not an acceptable substitute for butter in a cookie recipe (though they still managed to taste pretty good, one point for me, awesome).

my shampoo is coconut. my luna bars are coconut. i am a coconut. and you know what? coconuts are hard on the outside, and solid, and rough. you don't fuck with a coconut. and that's how i will be. i will be like a coconut. and when i'm done, i will smell damn good. and that's all that matters.


  1. 1- You should love how coconuts feel, when you need to slough the dead skin off your knees and elbows.

    2- I will make you coconut cream pie soap, perfume, shower gel and lip gloss. I don't do lotions yet but the rest, yes.

    3- YOU ARE COCONUT!!!!!!!!

  2. Yay coconut!

    I had a brief phase of trying to make my own bath products. There's this coconut cream stuff you can get in the "ethnic" section of the grocery store - basically a little tetra-pak of white goo with a texture like sandy lard - that worked pretty well as a bathtime exfoliant (and smelled fantastic!).

    Nowadays I'm lazy and just buy coconutty bath stuff from the drugstore though.

  3. organix has an awesome coconut shampoo that i'm currently using. and it's sulfate-free and eco-friendly and la la la, and i can get it all at walgreens, which kicks ass. the whole organix line is really a win for me, especially their keratin serum. it actually relaxes my hair, it's amazing.

  4. I shall investigate this brand. Thanks!